A statistician in Kansas is suing the state to recover voting records she says don't add up. There is math in Kansas? Whatever the issue is, I'm sure it will guarantee Kanye's presidential victory in five years. Yeezy/Santorum 2020.
Live chickens and rabbits were placed near the site of the explosion in Tianjin, China to measure cyanide levels in the air. None of the animals lived more than two hours. But on the plus side, all those dead rabbits must mean there is a bundle of mutated joy on the way for many happy families! (article)
Two people connected with the Ashley Madison hack have punched their own respective tickets and ascended to heaven for their 72 virgins. Its comforting to know that some people can completely ignore their marriage vows yet still take the last five words SUPER serious. (article)
Entire villages in Spain are now on sale to the highest bidder. One mayor has even pledged a part of his town for free to anyone willing to renovate the homes there. This rural decline compounded with Spain's crushing unemployment is a nice glimpse into a community right before it becomes a meth-fueled wasteland a la Kentucky. Watch out, Spanish cousins! (article)
China has arrested 15,000 people in their Sisyphean zeal to clean the internet with the launch of their new program, code-named "Cleaning the Internet". The censors aim to curb anti-government sentiment, as well as illegal trading and pornography. The internet has responded by making a porn parody of the effort named "Reaming her Inner-net". (article)
Cheating website AshleyMadison.com got their googles hacked. Subscribers personal information was dumped onto the darkest reaches of the internet for all to see. The head of AshleyMadison.com issued a statement blasting the group for stealing innocent peoples' information and imposing their view of morality onto others. That's right, the guy who runs a website for cheating on your spouse tried to take the high road.
A drug originally intended to help treat narcolepsy has found use in the healthy mainstream as a "smart" drug, helping them complete tasks faster and more creatively. Scientists are shocked to see people taking the drug, Modafinil, outside of their prescribed use. Just kidding, that's why they're called drugs! Time to start sleeping in more inappropriate places for drugs. Again.
Starting in October, a new law in the UK forbids smoking in a car with underage passengers for fears of children inhaling secondhand smoke. Let those little bastards buy their own cigarettes and stop mooching off their parents' used cancer fog! Kids today. (article)
British authorities want to raise the maximum sentencing for online pirating from two years to ten years. It is now possible to get more prison time for accidentally watching The Fantastic Four murder good taste than actually murdering four people.
Footage of a deep-sea creature resembling the pseudo-religious figure The Flying Spaghetti Monster has been found on the ocean floor near the west coast of Africa. Cameras also spotted a fish that looks exactly like the prophet Muhammad but we're not supposed to talk about that. (article)